How Tolkien found me

Over a decade ago, when I was a little girl, my father dragged me to every Lord of the Rings movie that came out. The Fellowship of the Ring, The Two Towers, The Return of the King— I’ve seen them all. I’ve also hated them all. In fact, I have never been so disinterested in my life.

The trilogy came out more or less at the same time as Harry Potter, so naturally, witches and wizards, potions and spells, magic and magic schools won over 11 year old me instead of hobbits with large hairy feet, dwarves, goblins, nazguls, and orcs.

And so as the trilogy came to an end, I was thankful. I think I even sighed in relief (I don’t really remember but it’s very possible).

“Ah! No more movies next year! It’s over!”

Little did I know, Tolkien has a way of worming back into peoples’ lives.

Years passed and I’ve pushed the LOTR trilogy into the back of my mind, stuffed into an imaginary trunk, locked with a key that was kept in a safe place even I couldn’t recall. It reached a point where the only characters I remembered were Frodo, Gandalf and Gollum. Horrible, I know.

Then, in my early twenties, I met new people. I liked these new people. They were great to talk to, had great sense of humor, and were interesting. We decided to have lunch together one day, the three of us. Somehow, amongst the talk of shiny nylon leggings and stuff about ourselves, the topic of Star Wars and LOTR came up.

“Oh, god. Two things I know absolutely nothing about.”

I was a Harry Potter girl. I’ve watched all 8 movies countless of times; and have read all the books in a week and a half’s time (I was too cheap to buy the set so I borrowed them from a friend). I knew an unhealthy amount of quotes and lines from the movies and I was a beta member of Pottermore (got sorted into Slytherin). Not to mention about 90% of my college friends are just as much into HP as me, if not more.

I tried to divert the topic of the conversation there but my two new friends just weren’t that interested. Which really surprised me, actually. Who the hell doesn’t like to talk about Harry Potter?!

So on they went about Star Wars, something about Luke Skywalker, something about a necklace one of them saw with an Ewok design, etc. On they went about the Lord of the Rings, something about Arwen being in the wrong places in the movies, and something about Gollum. All I could do was nod like I knew what they were talking about and eat my food. All I could do was ask, “The ‘my precious’ thing, right?” when they mentioned Gollum.

It was awkward (for me. The two of them were too immersed with what they were talking about to notice). I felt more awkward then than when I’ve had to have lunch with my friends and their boyfriends. I felt so out of the loop— so out of place. It was a horrible feeling so it was then I decided that when I got home that day, I would watch the movies and bare them. I would try to pay attention and not get bored for the sake of having something to contribute the next time the three of us went out again.

Luckily, my father had the complete set. As soon as I got home from that uncomfortable lunch, I changed into my house clothes, and popped the first DVD into my laptop. Recalling how much I disliked them years ago, I braced myself and gave myself a little pep talk before pressing play.

It was like watching it for the first time again. I did not remember anything.

The instrumentals of the Shire scenes were amazing.

Has it always been like this?

Then came the journeying scenes of the hobbits and it was like my mood took a 180° turn.

I was bored.out.of.my.mind.

I distinctly remember rolling my eyes and scoffing at the scene where the hobbits were at the Prancing Pony. Pippin was babbling away with his big mouth and Frodo was trying and failing to shut him up, only to end up tripping on thin air the side of someone’s boot and by some miracle, accidentally slipped on The Ring when he tried to reach for it after it jumped flew (?) out of his hand. To make matters worse and more embarrassing for Frodo, he disappeared in thin air for everyone to see!

Great job, Frodo! What part of ‘discreet’ didn’t you understand?

It was a failure for me. I told myself to at least finish the first movie and I couldn’t even do that. I think that how I felt years ago influenced me too much. Like I expected to find it horrible just like I did before and that’s exactly what happened.

I took the DVD out of my laptop and put the movies aside.

“Oh well, I’ll find a way not to talk about LOTR (or Star Wars) next time we see each other.”

A few weeks have passed and the girls and I met up again. Fortunately for me, those two particular topics were not brought up.

It was more or less during this time that The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey was showing. I didn’t even bother seeing it since I thought: “I didn’t like the first set of movies. Why would I waste my money seeing this?”

Another few weeks have passed when I borrowed the external HD of a close friend to look at some of the movies she has. One of the said movies was a torrent of The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey.

Since its showing, I’ve heard some really good reviews and people were raving about it. Of course I got curious, and since it was a torrent I was looking at then, it was free. So I thought: “Eh, why not?”

I copied it to my external HD and watched it that weekend at home.

Then, I fell in love.

I fell hard and fast.

I fell in love with Bilbo and I fell in love with the dwarves.

It was spectacular. It was amazing. It was the first of 3 movies, and already it was epic!

Gandalf being ‘good morning-ed by Belladonna Took’s son’? Bilbo meeting the dwarves for the first time? Witty!

The battle music when the dwarves charged the trolls? Breathtaking!

Radagast leading the orcs away and the dwarves’ attempt to escape them? Wow!

Everything about Goblin Town and the dwarves’ escape? Amazing! My favorite part of the movie, I think.

The entire movie was just incredible.

I was hooked. I was more hooked than a fish on a fishing line that immediately after that, I popped FOTR back in.

I became attentive for real this time and even though that scene at the Prancing Pony still annoyed me, I kept watching because I thought there was no way that anything Peter Jackson made was horrible after watching The Hobbit: AUJ.

I started to honestly appreciate it more. I just needed to give it a chance is all. I wasn’t able to do that before because my dislike for them as a little girl was so ingrained in my head.

Then came the scene where the Fellowship was at Moria. Yes, you know what I’m talking about. The scene where Gimli rushed over to a tomb and heartbreakingly wailed. The scene where Gandalf read the inscription on the said tomb:

Here lies Balin
Son of Fundin
Lord of Moria

WHAT?! EXCUSE ME, WHAT?!?!?!

Balin?! My Balin? My amazing, bad-ass Balin?! Dead?! With dwarf corpses around his tomb?! What is happening?!

And then much later on (fast forwarding momentarily to a few months) I found out in the book that the corpse holding the book of records beside Balin’s tomb in the movie is Ori! Ori! Sweet, little, slingshot wielding Ori!! Noooooooo. And then, I also found out in the book that: “The Watcher in the Water took Oin.” Whaaatttt?!?! Nooooooooo. My babies!!

(Moving back to the time I was watching FOTR) I was heartbroken. I just kept imagining Balin’s happy, smiling face, while I was looking at his tomb. That was the worst thing ever!

A few moments later, I realized that it wasn’t the worst thing ever. The worst thing ever was very shortly after that, Gandalf fought the Balrog and it appeared like he fell to his doom! First Balin, then Gandalf?!

Excuse me, who gave you permission to die? Certainly not me!

I couldn’t believe it. Was it going to be this way with the two movies too? This rollercoaster of emotions?! I wasn’t sure if I wanted it. But I kept going.

I kept watching and the more I did, the more I loved it. I tried not to flinch, or sigh, or pull my hair out when Boromir died defending “the little ones”. Be still, my heart.

Before I knew it, it was over. I wanted to pop The Two Towers in right away, but after watching The Hobbit: AUJ and FOTR on the same day, I knew I needed to sleep or I wouldn’t and couldn’t appreciate Two Towers as much.

As promised, the next day, I woke up bright and early and popped in TT and after that, ROTK.

All I could think of while I watched the remaining two movies was: This is amazing!! How the hell did I not appreciate this? This.is.epic!

Aragorn?! Hello, baby, I am ready for you.

Legolas?! Mr.-I-can-surf-anything! A shield down the stairs? An elephant entire Oliphaunt?! No problem! Hair’s still perfect!

Eowyn! Do not even get me started on Eowyn!! How freaking unlucky is it for the Witch King of Angmar to meet the only woman on the battlefield?! HAHA!

GANDALF IS ALIVE (AND PROMOTED)!

Haldir nooooo

I won’t go into detail about the two movies anymore since I think this post is long enough as it is, but overall, I can definitely say that I am much more in love with TT & ROTK than FOTR. The latter is just… a little boring for me, compared to the epicness that is the Battle at Helms Deep in TT and the Battle at Minas Tirith in ROTK.

I had no idea what was going on in my head during the times I watched these movies all those years ago. Why didn’t I like them? Was I blind? Oh god, was I a boring child?

Maybe it was the fact that I was forced to go and watch them rather than willingly go along.

Whatever the reason, I hate it. If only my introduction into Tolkien went a little smoother, then I would’ve had around 15 extra years of fangirling!

Nevertheless, Tolkien has found its way back into my life, and into my heart.

In fact, I am so in love with it all, that I don’t ever recall being this deep into Harry Potter.

Yes, that is right. I love Tolkien more than I love HP. That just shows how much of an impact it has made on me.

My introduction to Middle Earth was about 2 years ago, and I haven’t regretted anything since.

As I’m writing this, The Hobbit: BOTFA came out last month. I’ve seen it twice in the movie house and I’m not very sure what I’m supposed to do now that the movies are over.

Maybe all I can do is rewatch, have a movie marathon of all 6 movies (who needs sleep?) and hope for a movie adaptation of The Silmarillion.